[Wellness] I won't ever be the same again

["Karen Patterson" <Patterson@womens-wellness.com>]

Good morning friends,

I wanted to share the realization that "I" will never be the same again.
After two and a half years cancer free I thought I was really getting back
to the way I was.  Yet really, I have adapted my lifestyle so much to my
disabilities that I didn't realize I was not the same.  Last week I tried to
copy a couple of multi-page documents for my son's scholarship application.
I kept putting the pages in the copier the wrong way and got blank sheets.
Even when I concentrated on how I put the paper in, when the blank page came
out I couldn't remember which way I had put it in.  It was a very long
frustrating afternoon (not just for me but for my poor husband who shares
the office).   I don't have to perform in the same manner as I did when I
worked and honestly I can't. I wasn't under any time constraints or stress.
My cognitive skills seemed better because I spend so much time on the
support systems of lists, repeating things, and keeping good notes.

I feel the same way about my physical abilities.  I think I'm stronger and
then I stray from my protective plan of activity and I'm wiped out for days.
Travel to my nephew's wedding or attending the charity golf tournament wore
me totally out. I accept that now.  I am not sharing this with you to take
anyone's hope away or complain about my situation.  I have been through
quite a lot of aggresive treatments and this does not mean everyone will
feel this way.  I guess I'm saying if "I" can realize this now, at this
point, (and those of you who have been on my list for years know I do not
whine) then we all need to be patient with ourselves.  There is no magic
BOOM you're back to your old self again.  Make those lifestyle changes
necessary to live your life again.  Allow yourself those days in bed. Give
yourself the gift of time and healing.  We all want so badly to be WELL
again.  Smell the roses and dance your heart out,
Always my best,
Karen Patterson, Founder of Womens-Wellness.com and a breast cancer survivor



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